Things You Say to Your Kids

Before I had kids, I had a list of things I would never say to them. They were collected over the years from watching parenting in action, an.

What is wrong with you?

Are you listening? Then answer me...

If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...

Don't talk (or other colorful variations)

Do you want to be a hobo when you grow up?

Do you think I'm made of money?

This is not about you...

I do not exist to be your housekeeper...

You will not get into college with grades like that....

AFTER I had kids, here are some of the things I've actually said:

You can't do everything!

Stop talking!

Put down the light saber and do your homework!

Do you want to be a hobo when you grow up?

I am not your maid!

And who is going to pay for this?

This is not about you...

When you grow up,
there will not be someone there
to bring you the things you've forgotten...

(except maybe they'll be wildly successful
and have a personal assistant)

There's a time for talking
and a time for listening,
guess which one this is?

It just goes to show that until you're really in a situation, you have no clue how you would handle it. The proof is in the pudding, my friend. I do try not to say some things and have been mostly successful. I also try to remember to say other things like

I love you
and thank you
and you did a good job
and I like spending time with you

I need to remember these things because traveling with kids can bring out the beast in a parent.